


Ending the Cycle

by shingeki_no_locker



Category: Paramore
Genre: Break Up, Drama, F/M, Falling Out of Love, Heartbreak, Heartbreaking, Love, Love/Hate, Original Fiction, POV Original Character, Paramore (Band), Paramore - Freeform, Past Relationship(s), Romance, Song Lyrics, Song Parody
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-11
Updated: 2014-11-11
Packaged: 2018-02-24 23:49:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 634
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2600876
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shingeki_no_locker/pseuds/shingeki_no_locker
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Inspired by Paramore's song "Ignorance".<br/>A short piece based around a girl who just broke up with her two-in-one long time best bud and lover.<br/>He broke her, yet needed her.<br/>She loved him, but left him.<br/>A one-sided love not meant to be. Or was it?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Ending the Cycle

It wasn’t the alcohol. My decision was so much more than the liquor you drank, _it was you._

“This is over.”

My now ex-boyfriend was paralysed in shock. Serves him right. A sharp gulp coursed down his throat.

Nervous laughter sounded, “Baby, come on… What are you talking about?”

He knows what he did. I know that he does! But I am done. I am not wasting any more time on this forsaken relationship. My wounds go deeper than the gold mines of Australia where cave-ins happened all the time and hundreds were lost. I am leaving before I die.

Turning my back on him, I snatched my bag and stormed to the door. “Don’t tell me you’re deaf, too. Please, go screw yourself.”

Walking down the road, drenched in rain, I was numb. Numb to all emotion. I thought I would at least cry, you know? Goes to show how much I actually hated you. Or maybe deep, down inside I cared tremendously. Bull crap. This train of thought always repeated. Love, hate, love, hate, there’s nothing left I can do for you. You didn’t even love me. Because when you love someone, you don’t destroy them.

The day we met, you knew I was different from the rest. Free from the pressure of skinny and beautiful. I was an untamed beast in your eyes. They say opposites attract. When I think back now, I just wanted someone to love me. When you jumped into my life, I bounced.

You loved to write music. Possibly more than you “loved” me. The songs written for me, I can’t quite say they were complimentary. The lyrics were often based around a true image of me, yet a darker meaning behind it. You wanted me to change and be like… You. Now he’s lost me, he’ll probably have a sappy break up song where I’m compared to a witch. I don’t want to hear a chord.

I’m surprised in a way. It’s not like we were dating from the get go. Friends for life we often had written on paper and trees or our names in blood on the bathroom mirrors. Hell, our bloody writing was everywhere it could be seen. Desks, chairs, walls, I am telling you. _Everywhere._ We were inseparable, unstoppable even.

Love brought us together and broke us apart. You screamed at me, “It’s your fault!” I lost count after line repeat number thirteen; it was also around such time your voice voluntarily ran away. I would too if I were being strained like that. Oh wait, I was. You strained the life and soul out of me you monster. The very second before I said yes, and you knew I would, you had planned to trap me already. Lock me in a cage and swallow the key for all you cared! The freedom you saw that night, you didn’t desire it at all. You _despised_ it. It had to be swept away before I affected everyone else. Why would you want that? You were scared, an absolute coward. I reasoned my best with you, but I guess you can’t accept that change is good. It hurt you more than me.

Now, you treat me like another stranger. No, you always did. I was too naïve to even notice is all. It’s not like you were any better, although. Your motives were set, and maybe you didn’t want to accept your evil, but you were ignorant. Ignorant to every important detail, which I tried to show you and I fought for years.

You wanted control, or perhaps a bigger ego. And maybe I destroyed you more than me. I remember visiting a Christian group one day. They asked me this, “Is love a feeling or a choice?”

I still don’t know the answer.


End file.
